First, there was nothing.

That's right - zippo. Black space and nothing else. Well, what else did you expect from
the beginning of the universe? Quit complaining.

Because then, there was a bang. The Big Bang, to be exact.

Planets formed. Mercury, Mars, Pluto, and a bunch of other planets whose names
I can't think of right now. Oh, yeah, and Earth. Earth was the most important.

You see, at this point, the planets were pretty boring, so God decided to put cool
stuff on Earth, such as oceans, clouds, dinosaurs, lava lamps, and Bill and 
Ted's Excellent Adventure.

But it wasn't enough. Although lots of other stuff came onto the Earth, like
Dr. Pepper and Hello Kitty merchandise and even a sequel to Bill and Ted, something
was missing. Something that was, perhaps, as important as the Big Bang itself. 
Something being denied existence because no one quite knew what the Earth
was craving to contain.

And then, a bunch of drooling females having an anime party one night realized it.
Lightning struck their brains, and gave them the vision of what must be created. Of
course, this lightning is not a metaphor, and a lot of the girls got fried. After the survivors
were brought to the hospital, and after waiting 6 months for the first to come out of a 
coma, the eager people of Earth listened. The thin girl on the hospital bed opened her
eyes once, murmured a few words, and immediately passed out a again (but don't
worry, she's just sleeping, she's not comatose now). The girl had said what had been 
tickling at the edges of the senses of every being on Earth. The one thing the Earth
needed, but no one had a name to.

But now, it had a name. 

And by God, what a name.

Schielbrokelby.

Of course, most people didn't like this name, so they changed it to the Super 
Bishounen Society.

Because that, gentle readers, is exactly what it was.

THE SUPER BISHOUNEN SOCIETY 
By: Lianne (liannesentar@hotmail.com)

Rated PG for violence, language, and general anger

Disclaimer: The term "bishounen" is often linked with "shounen ai" or 
"yaoi". The bishounen in this story are not shounen ai or yaoi 
characters, but, rather, are just pretty men. All characters are 
Copyright a bunch of shows. They're NOT MINE. Please don't sue me, I 
have no money, and I'm writing this for free to boot. 

The bishounen in this story come from the following shows:

Fushigi Yuugi (The Mysterious Play)
The Slayers
Ranma 1/2
The Vision of Escaflowne
X
Sailor Moon
Tenchi Muyo
Pokemon
Sorcerous Stabber Orphen
Rurouni Kenshin
Weiss Kreuz (White Cross)
Neon Genesis Evangelion

I am not endorsing those shows! I have major issues with some of them. Some are 
NOT for children (X! Yikes!) so beware! This story, however, is rated PG. There
are very minor spoilers for the above shows. It originally had big spoilers, but I
cut them out. See how much Lianne thinks of you? ^_^

Please don't read this story if you hate bishounen. Wait a sec. Actually, please
don't read this story is you *like* bishounen. Better yet, you could be safe and not
read it at all, but where would the fun be in that? You whine too much. Quit complaining.


	Super Bishounen Castle was quite a piece of architecture to behold. Built with the 
generous donations of the GOOBYS (Get-Off-Our-Backs-You-Scary-Females, although 
the final "f" wasn't added to the abbreviation because then it would be GOOBYSF, and
we all know that isn't a word), the stone chateau displayed turrets and gray bricks and all
the other trappings of a fine and sturdy living place. The pennant of the Super Bishounen,
displayed proudly off of every second turret, had a green background with a pair of blue
eyes on it. Above the eye was the motto: SUPER BISHOUNEN CASTLE - ALL
NON-PRETTY MEN WILL NOT BE ALLOWED NEAR THE PREMISES. 
	Below that phrase was written, in smaller letters: "Brought to you by GOOBYS,
the word that sounds like Goobers, but not quite. Not that we're goobers or anything.
You calling us goobers? You better not be!"
	Of course, Super Bishounen Castle had been built as a living place for all the
bishounen admitted to the exclusive society, but after one trial slumber party it was
decided that most of the bishounen didn't get along nearly well enough to live together.
That, and Yaten kept hogging pillows. Therefore the castle remained as a meeting place,
and hardly that. It was hard enough getting the more-than-a-dozen bishounen to sit 
together for a half hour meeting before all hell broke loose. Let's not forget, Kamui's 
in this club.
	But enough. Here is the tale of one fateful afternoon, sometime in Spring of
the year 1999, where things didn't go so well for the Super Bishounen Society. 

**************

	Hotohori took one look at the glass of apple juice on the table before him, and
frowned. He pushed the glass aside and stuck his nose in the air. 
	"Royalty doesn't drink such low-class beverage," he said with a sigh as he pulled
out a mirror. He examined his own reflection, smiled approvingly, and ran a hand through
his sleek green hair.
	Saotome Ranma glared at the emperor. "It's apple juice or nothing," he said flatly,
spinning his own glass within his palms. "The soda got Dilandau way too hyper last time,
and alcoholic beverages are *completely* out of the question."
	Hotohori sighed dramatically again and pulled out a nail file. Daintily grooming
his long nails, he said, "Very well, nothing it is. Apple juice rots your teeth, and I can't 
bear to ruin my pearly whites." On that thought, he dropped the nail file, picked up his
mirror, and began admiring his fine white teeth.
	The many bishounen seated around the long table were waiting. Waiting for what?
Why, their king, of course. No meeting could start without the famed King of the 
Bishounen. Not that any of the bishounen actually liked the king, but rules were rules.
	Waiting wasn't such a good idea for this group of young men.
	"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!" Dilandau grabbed his
head and screamed. "I HATE WAITING! I HATE IT! I'M GONNA
KILL SOMETHING!" The silver-haired teenager immediately jumped out of his
chair, kicked it over, and pulled out a blowtorch. He giggled evilly as his eyes scanned
the room. "Vaaaaaaannnnnn," he purred in his patented way, "let's plaaaaaaaaaaaay."
	Across the table, Van Fanel was struggling with a Rubix Cube in his lap. 
Someone had thought it funny to give the puzzle to the young king, and it was driving 
poor Van out of his little mind. He stuck his tongue out as he frantically tried to shift the 
cube.
	"All reds...all reds...yes! I got all re-oh, no, I didn't. Wait, maybe no-oh, no, not
now. Hmm. Maybe?..."
	Dilandau aimed the blowtorch at Van's forehead.
	A very angry Yaten Kou resettled Dilandau's chair and yanked him into it. 
Dilandau snarled and aimed the blowtorch at Yaten's face, but Yaten grabbed it out of his 
hands.
	"Quit making a mess!" the shortest Light yelled. "I'm sick of hearing you scream
about killing and fire and whatnot. I'm trying to read here!"
	Dilandau noticed the Wedding Peach manga in Yaten's hand. He tried to snatch
it, but Yaten yanked it away and smashed Dilandau's head in with a shovel.
	"Hands off," Yaten snapped as he flipped open his manga. "I haven't read this 
one yet."
	Gourry Gabriev gulped his apple juice in one swallow, licking his lips happily.
He leaned over the quiet form of Chiba Mamoru that sat beside him, Mamoru's own juice 
untouched.
	"You gonna drink that?"
	Mamoru hushed the blond, his blue eyes far-off and unseeing. "Don't disturb
me," he said softly.  "Can't you see I'm contemplating the nightmares I've been having
recently?"
	"What nightmares are it this time?" Orphen asked as he dug back into his 
Orphen-Exclusive-Seltzer-And-Sorbet-Beverage. He stuck the spoon in his mouth 
and glanced at Mamoru from under thick bangs. "The world gonna end or something?"
	"No." Mamoru cupped his chin and continued to stare into nothingness. "I was
a woman, and I was pregnant. And there was a danish the size of a truck that kept
telling me to find the Seven Seishi." He frowned. "I wonder what it means..."
	Suboshi laughed and jumped onto the table. "It *means*," the teen said as 
he put his hands on his hips and looked down at Mamoru, "that you've either sniffed
too many roses, or you belong on Kodomo no Omacha with all the other psychos."
The seiyruu seishi proceeded to run down the table, kicking over apple juice glasses
just to annoy the others.
	Amiboshi was reading a book. He looked up sadly at his brother. "Suboshi,"
he called, "please don't do that. You're upsetting Kamui."
	Gourry saw that the rest of the apple juice had been spilled, so he settled for 
licking his glass.
	"Kamui?" Suboshi scoffed. "Why should I be afraid of Kamui?"
	Famous last words.	
	Shirou Kamui took one look at his spilled juice, then focused burning eyes on 
Suboshi. Blue fire flared up around Kamui's head and shoulders.
	"You die," he hissed as he raised a glowing finger. 
	Suboshi blinked, then dove as a wave of power screamed through the air,
right through where he had been. It crashed into the opposite wall and sent brick chips 
to flutter to the ground.
	Himura Kenshin smiled cheerfully and clapped his hands together. "Maa maa," he 
cooed. "Don't resort to violence de gozaru. Can't we live in harmony de gozaru?"
	One of the large castle windows was open. A few birds were perched on the 
windowsill, and as soon as they caught sight of Kenshin, they flew over and settled
on his shoulder. Kenshin smiled and fed them bread from his pockets.
	Ash Ketchum was sobbing at the far end of the table, his face buried in his
little hands. Tenchi looked over at him, concerned.
	"Are you all right?"
	Ash shook his head. "Why do I have to be in this stupid club?" he sobbed. "I
don't wanna be the representative of Pokemon! These guys are scary, and I want my
Mommy!"
	Allen Shezar patted the young boy on the head. "Never fear, child," he reassured.
"I, Knight Caeli, Allen Shezar, will protect you! The code of chivalry demands it!"
	"And the code of fashion demands you ditch those puffy sleeves," Yaten
murmured from behind his manga.
	Allen grew ice cold. "A Knight Caeli will not stand for such insults," he said,
rising and drawing his sword. He pointed it menacingly at the Light. "I challenge you 
to a duel!"
	Dilandau, at seeing fresh steel, giggled sadistically and jumped up. "FIGHT!"
he screamed as he pulled out another blowtorch from nowhere and began setting the 
room on fire.
	Ranma yelped and jumped up. "Stop that pyro!" he yelled. "He'll kill
us all!"
	Not hearing him, Kamui threw a ball of power at Suboshi. It hit him full in the 
stomach, and the seishi was thrown back to crash into Hotohori and Yaten. Hotohori
screamed something about "breaking a nail".
	"BURN!" Dilandau laughed as he torched the curtains. "FIRE FIRE FIRE!"
	Mamoru continued to ponder. Tenchi cowered. Ash sobbed. Gourry tried
to eat the table.
	"PREPARE TO DIE!" Dilandau screamed as he pulled a grenade out of his
jacket.
	There was a flash of pink, and Dilandau found himself to no longer be holding
the torch or the grenade. 
	"You must not kill," Hitokiri Battousai said as his little eyes flashed yellow.
He tossed the implements of destruction out the window, then coughed and made his
eyes big and blue again. Kenshin walked back to chair happily and continued to feed
the birds, as well as the small rabbits that had appeared to nuzzle his feet.
	Allen and Amiboshi managed to put out Dilandau's fires, but Kamui was still
throwing energy blasts at Suboshi. Suboshi tried to hide behind a pillar, and gulped
when it was vaporized.
	"Someone should stop Kamui," Tenchi pointed out as he rubbed sad little
Ash's head. 
	"Wanna volunteer?" Orphen asked as he picked up his spoon. Seeing the amount 
of sherbert that had melted due to the previously-roaring flames, he frowned.
	Gourry sank his teeth into a table leg, then blinked as the table floated into the
air. Kamui was holding his hand up towards the ceiling. He clenched his hand, and the
floating table shot towards a curled-up Suboshi.
	"No one gets in my way and lives," Kamui hissed. "Die, damn you!"
	"That is QUITE enough, Kamui!"
	Kamui stopped, and the table froze half an inch from Suboshi's head. Kamui 
turned with narrowed eyes at the new voice.
	It was the King. The King of the Bishounen, as voted online at 
www.voteforprettiestman.com.
	He was fairly tall, and well built. He was young enough - 17, the
ideal age for a bishounen. He was dressed in fashionable garb of turquoise and black,
and had walnut skin, dark blue-green hair in a low ponytail down his back, and velvet eyes. 
	Yeah, you all know who I'm talking about. Yeah, he's a dork and all, but 
everyone knows he's still the prettiest man in anime.
	King Tamahome crossed his arms. "Kamui, what did I tell you about killing 
other members?" 
	Kamui's eyes blazed, and he had the table float back to him. "You, too," he 
hissed. "You will die." He psychically threw the table at Tamahome, at a speed to rival 
even light.
	Tamahome ducked and let the table fly out the open doorway behind him. It crashed into 
the opposite wall.
	Kamui clenched his fist. "Damn you," he growled as he 
made all unoccupied chairs (and a few occupied chairs, namely Van's 
and Orphen's, the two of them promptly crashing to the floor as 
their seats were yanked from under them) float telekinetically 
around him. He pointed at Tamahome, and the chairs prepared to fly.
	"Kamui!" Amiboshi pleaded. "Please, stop!"
	"Kamui," Tenchi added, "please?"
	"Please, Kamui."
	"Kamui..."
	"Dammit, my sherbert!"
	"All greens! I got all gre-oh, wait, no. Damn."
	"Bite me, Kamui!"
	Kamui whipped back to Suboshi. Amiboshi slapped his brother upside the head.
	"Stop asking for trouble, otouto," Amiboshi whispered quickly.
	Suboshi snarled at the scowling Kamui. "You're just a brat," he spat. "Why should 
we plead with you?"
	Mamoru furrowed his eyebrows, and finally focused his eyes on the carnage. 
"Why?" he murmured. "Well...isn't Kamui the one that has the ability to destroy the world?"
	Suboshi blinked.

******************

	Five minutes later the bishounen had constructed a makeshift throne for Kamui 
(well, kinda a throne, though it was really just a chair with a few 
newspapers stacked on the seat to make him look taller and therefore 
feel less self-conscious about his height), and kissed his butt 
appropriately.
	"Sorry you had to get so upset, Kamui."
	"How about a back massage, Kamui?"
	"Here, Kamui, I picked these flowers for you."
	"Have a Snickers, Kamui."
	Kamui snorted, and snatched the offered candy bar. He ripped off the wrapping, 
took a bite, and promptly threw it at a groveling Gourry.
	"It's stale, damn you." Kamui snapped his fingers. "Bring me apple juice."
	A glass was immediately offered. Kamui looked at the glass and knocked it 
over. "A straw, damn you!"
	A glass with a straw came, but Kamui knocked that over, too. "A bendy straw,
damn you!"
	After about ten minutes of providing Kamui with refreshments and fans and 
a Nintendo system and a glass of apple juice with a bendy straw and other implements 
of brown-nosing, the bishounen finally went back to their chairs. Tamahome went to
the head of the table and cleared his throat. He pressed his hands against the smooth
wood in a very presidential (or, in this case, kingly) way.
	"Ahem." The king flicked his ponytail over his shoulder. "It's very nice to
see you all again."
	Many of the bishounen grumbled at Tamahome's corny opening. A few laughed.
Dilandau screamed and pulled out a bazooka, but he did that all the time. Yaten snatched
the weapon and tossed it aside, then firmly bashed Dilandau in the head with an empty 
chair.
	"Ahem. Well, yes." Tamahome focused violet eyes on the seated bishounen. "And
how is everyone doing? Any new love interests?"
	"I wish," Yaten mumbled from behind his manga. "Why do girls have to be so
annoying? I don't think I could marry one for fear of going crazy."
	"That's probably the same reason girls wouldn't marry you," Ranma muttered. He
was rewarded with a bat to the face.
	Kenshin grinned as he fed a nearby deer. "Love," he said cheerfully. "So beautiful
de gozaru."
	"Depends on the girl," Gourry said quietly.
	"Yeah, no fair." Orphen frowned. "Why do three-quarters of our chicks have to
be really whiny and screechy?"
	Tenchi sighed sadly. "Don't talk to me about girls. Please."
	"At least you have one," Amiboshi commented, glancing at a few of the others.
	Kamui spat and threw his empty glass at Tamahome. The King barely dodged it. 
"Enough with your petty foolishness, damn you." Kamui crossed his arms. "Get onto the
meeting. I have a public-property-destruction get-together in an hour, and for every 
minute I'm late, I kill ... three of you." Kamui thought on that a moment, then snorted. 
"No, for every minute I'm late, I kill all of you. I never liked you fools, anyway."
	Tamahome cleared his throat again (he liked doing that because it made
him feel important). "Ahem. Well, yes, the reason for this meeting." He drummed his
fingers on the tabletop. "As you may have realized, our Society is in danger."
	"Excellent." Hotohori beamed. "Does that mean that if it gets blown up, we
don't have to have meetings any more?"
	"Heika, please."
	"BLOWN UP! BLOWN UP!" Dilandau jumped up happily and produced a 
bomb of some sort that seemed to consist of a bunch of sticks of dynamite stuck together
with bubble gum and covered in gasoline. He pulled out his lighter.
	*SMASH*
	Kenshin neatly put away the bomb as Yaten dusted his hands and 
dropped his anvil. Dilandau settled back angrily, an anvil-shaped imprint in his forehead.
	"Ahem. Yes. Great danger." Tamahome put on a grave expression, which was
soft of stupid for him, because whenever he gets grave he just gets really dorky. "It
is the IJBTGWACFT." 
	No, Tamahome did not say the name by letters, but, rather, 
said it as a word, which came out sounding like a slurred version of the words "It's
Whacked," or "Cheesecake" if you say it *real* fast. 
	Amiboshi took on a horrified expression. "Oh no!" he exclaimed. "Not the
IJBTGWACFT!" When he said it, it sounded kinda like "Beefstick."
	Kamui scowled. "What is this infernal IJBTGWACFT?" he muttered, though
when he said it sounded like "I'm Going To Kill You All, You Fools."
	Tamahome shook his head. "A very dangerous club of the Not-Quite
Bishounen," he explained. "They weren't pretty enough to make the cut of this
Society. They are very jealous of us, and wish for our destruction."
	"Well," Ranma declared, standing up. "I'm certainly not going to stand in
their way. I guess it's God's will."
	Tamahome scowled. "Sit down at once, Ranma!"
	Ranma glumly returned to his chair. Suboshi snorted and scratched his 
chest (he wanted to give the impression that he was manly enough to have chest
hair at age 15, but we all know that's not true).
	"Geez, Tama," Suboshi muttered. "Who cares? None of us like this club, 
anyway. Let's just let the IJBTKWACFT destroy the damn thing."
	"That's the IJBT*G*WACFT, Suboshi. Pay attention." Tamahome 
looked sternly at all the bishounen. "And this is much more grave than you
all are taking it to be. These Not-Quite Bishounen are on their way here now,
and our lives may very well be in danger."
	"Oooh. Scary." Yaten snorted. "Who are we going up against, Chichiri?
Let's just give Dilandau a box of matches and throw him and Kamui at 
them. Those Not-Quite Bishounen'll be toast before you can say the word 'toast.'"
	Dilandau suddenly got very mature. He jumped in his seat, sat up 
straight, and cleared his throat like Tamahome. "Ahem." He lifted glittering
red eyes. "Excellent idea. Let's do that."
	Tamahome shook his head vigorously. "No, no, no. We're not
allowed by contract to go into battle. The girls are too afraid we'll end up
with scars."
	"Then what do we do?" Allen asked as he petted a still-sobbing-but-
growing-very-tired-very-quickly-because-crying-is-very-tiring-and-he-had-
been-crying-for-a-good-half-hour-now Ash. "If we can't fight them-"
	"We can fight them," Tamahome cut in. "We just can't get close
enough to hurt ourselves." He gripped his chin in thought, which looked
*really* dorky, mostly because it was combined with his dorky seriousness.
"We have to think this through. Who's got special powers?"
	Everyone started talking at once.
	"I can turn into a girl."
	"So can half of us, moron."
	"My giant robot can-"
	"Your giant robot's a loser."
	"So's your mother!"
	"My Ryuseisui (sp?) can-"
	"Oh no, here comes Suboshi and the killer yo-yo-OW! Suboshi!"
	"My sword's pretty big."
	"Kenshin could still kick you around."
	"All yellows! I got all yel-oh, wait, no. Damn."
	"Hey, I bet I'm the only one here that can skewer grown men with
flowers."
	Tamahome flailed his arms. "Quiet!" he shouted over the wave of
voices. "Quiet! One at a time!"
	But they didn't listen. Hey, like I said, they didn't like Tamahome,
anyway.
	"What do you *mean* Kenshin could kick me around?"
	"*Anyone* could kick you around."
	"You wanna piece?"
	"I could kung-fu you all the way to Kyoto, loser!"
	"My sword sings for your blood!"
	"All whites! I got all whi-oh, wait, no. Damn."
	"Curse you, fool!"
	"Let's take it outside, pretty boy!"
	"Can't we just talk things through?"
	"Shut up, Tenchi."
	"FIRE! FIRE! WHEEE!"
	All the bishounen were well into fights by this time (or trying to break up
fights, as was the case with Tenchi and Amiboshi). Ash had fallen asleep
after his unending sobs, and Pokeballs were being quickly snatched from his
belt. After flashes of light, little Pokemon joined the battle in a flurry of very 
not-scary roars (more like chirps, actually). 
	"No!" Tamahome cried, running around with wide eyes. "No, everyone,
stop fighting!" Like they listened to him. Tamahome started to get desperate.
"No! We have to team up to defeat the-"
	"SHUT UP, TAMAHOME!" a bunch of voices shouted in unison.
	Tamahome buried his face in his hands. "No!" he half-sobbed. "What
are we going to do? The IJBTGWACFT will be here any minute!" Since he was
desperate, his voice got cracky, and that combined with his palms' muffling ended up 
making "IJBTGWACFT" sound like "I Seem To Have Misplaced My Duckie Hat, Could 
Someone Please Help Me Find It?"
	Kenshin walked over to Tamahome with various chipmunks, kitties, squirrels,
and all sorts of cute fluffy animals with big eyes scurrying around him happily. 
He patted Tamahome on the head (he had to reach up to do this, because Tamahome's
tall for his age and Kenshin's about the height of a fourteen-year-old girl). 
	"Don't get upset, de gozaru." The samurai grinned. "Want me to cook you
something nice to eat de gozaru?"
	Tamahome grabbed Kenshin by the shoulders. "Don't you get it?" the dark-haired
bishounen cried. "We're all gonna-"
	"DIE NA NO DA!"
	There was a large *BOOM* from outside, and a moment later the entire 
castle of the Super Bishounen Society shook like it had been hit by a cannon ball (this
is an appropriate metaphor, because they actually *had* been hit by a cannon ball). The
fighting bishounen fell to the floor in a jumble of arms, legs, swords, chairs, and curses.
	Tamahome scrambled to his feet and ran to the window, passing a downed Van
who was still trying to figure out the Rubix Cube despite the fact that he was lying on the
floor with a leg bent under him in a position that looked not only extremely painful, but
also rather damaging.
	"All blues! I got all blu-oh, wait, no. Damn. Hey, why can't I feel anything below
my waist?"
	Tamahome slapped his hands on the windowsill and leaned out as quickly as he
dared. His face drained of all color when he saw the scene below him.
	It was the IJBTGWACFT - the entire club, no exceptions - and one very, very
big tank. Tasuki caught sight of the King of the Bishounen, grinned, and aimed his fan.
	"LEKKA SHIEN!"
	Tamahome pulled his body back into the castle just as a wave of fire took the
redness off the bricks and left them purple (ha, bet you all thought those were *real*
bricks, but GOOBYS' "generous donation" hadn't really been that generous, so instead
of spending a lot of money on bricks for the Super Bishounen Castle they had really 
just bought a lot of purple legos and painted them red). The King collapsed to the floor
in fright just as the rest of the Super Bishounen Society (minus Ash, who had somehow
managed to sleep through it all, and Van, who was starting to realize that his swelling
leg demanded his attention more than the Rubix Cube) ran to the window and looked
outside.
	The IJBTGWACFT all had a mighty guffaw at the Super Bishounen Society's
expense. All of the Super Bishounen were smudged with dirt and had disheveled hair
and clothing from their nasty fall.
	"Well well well," Sagara Sanosuke called up. "Looks like the 'We're-Prettier-
Than-You-So-We're-Gonna-Act-Like-We're-Important-Or-Something' boys got a little
dirty!"
	Kamui's eyes blazed. "Damn you!" he cried. He had ended up cheek-to-cheek
with Hotohori on the floor when the castle had been hit, so a great cloud of powdery
make-up was smeared on one side of his face.
	The lid to the IJBTGWACFT's tank lifted up, and Dryden peered up from 
behind his little sunglasses. "Oooh," he murmured, going back down and pulling
the lid with him. "There's Allen. Looks like I missed him on the first shot."
	"Ano!" Kenshin called down politely. "Would you please not shoot at us de
gozaru? I can make tofu for everyone."
	Hibiki Ryoga bared his fangs. "No deal! Say bye-bye, pretty boys!"
	All the Super Bishounen frantically dove back into
the room and hugged the floor. The tank's gun (that didn't shoot out bullets, it shot
out canon balls, isn't that neat?) fired once more, and the castle rocked dangerously.
	"We gotta *do* something!" Ranma shouted. "Wait - who's got the best giant
robot?"
	"That's not gonna work, I saw Shinji out there." Orphen pushed off the trembling 
form of Amiboshi. "Let go of me, you baby."
	"Well we gotta do *something*! Those psychos wanna kill us!"
	"We outnumber them, why don't we just-"
	"Don't be an idiot! Your sword won't hurt a tank!"
	"I say we send out Kenshin with cookies. That'd make anyone reconsider."
	"Do you think Escaflowne could beat Eva 1?"
	"Just start singing, Yaten. That'll scare them away."
	"You wanna fist in the mouth, punk?!"
	"LET ME BURN THEM! LET ME BURN THEM!"
	There was another crash, and this time the castle swayed. The Super Bishounen
swore and cried out as they all crashed into each other among the flying tables and chairs.
	"Give up!" came Seiya Kou's voice from outside. "You can't win!"
	Tamahome ran to the window. "Please!" he called desperately. "Stop it! We're 
not looking for a fight!"
	"I'm touched no da." Chichiri pointed his wand at the King of the Bishounen,
smiley eyes flat. "Dryden-kun, aim for him no da."
	"Hey boys, can we join in the fun?"
	Chichiri froze. He, along with the rest of the IJBTGWACFT and as many of the 
Super Bishounen as could fit in the window (the smaller or more passive ones, like Yaten 
and Tenchi, ended up getting stepped on by the bigger bishounen), slowly turned to the 
new voice.
	Yohji slipped his thumbs in his jean pockets and smiled lopsidedly. "Hmm. A
lot of angry bishounen. Where are the girls?"
	"Yeah!" Ken added, tossing his soccer ball into the air. "The chicks dig it when
I play. Who wants to start a game?"
	Omi giggled. "Anybody want to try out my new PC Doom VII with me?"
	Aya lowered his head. "I would prefer just to stand here in angst, if you
don't mind."
	"W ... what?" Tamahome breathed. His violet eyes were wide. "Who are *they*?"
	Ranma lowered his eyebrows. "Wait a sec," he murmured. "I've heard of them.
Hey!" He stuck his head out of the window and shouted at the four newly-arrived 
bishounen. "Aren't you the punks from Lice Snooz?"
	"That's Weiss Kreuz," Yohji corrected shortly. He winked and gave a "V is
for Victory" sign. "And we *are* the White Cross, baby."
	Dryden lifted up the lid of the tank. "An anime based entirely on bishounen?" 
he spat. "And you come around *here*?"
	"Their show's based entirely on bishounen?" Tasuki scowled. "Maybe we've
been after the wrong target."
	Omi blinked cutsily (aww, don't you just wanna take him home and feed him to
your cat- I mean keep him?). "What's the matter, guys? Don't you wanna hang with us?"
	Hotohori pointed his finger menacingly (well, pointing a finger is never really
that menacing, but he really tried to make it look menacing). "None of us have shows
based *entirely* on bishounen. You'll have to die!"
	"Agreed." Tasuki turned and aimed his fan at White Cross. "Everyone, attack!
The first one to make a kill gets to keep that soccer ball."
	The Super Bishounen Society all shouted their war cries (yeah, even Tenchi 
and Amiboshi, because even *they* wanted to kill anyone from a show that was
based entirely on bishounen, although they weren't really used to fighting so their
war cries were more like "I love Diddy Kong!" or "Mustard tastes great on pizza!"
or other such nonsense phrases) and raced out of the castle. 
	White Cross blinked. "Uh-oh," Ken murmured. "This doesn't look good
at all."
	"Run!" Omi shouted, though his big clunky sneakers kept him from running
all that well, so Aya just grabbed him and slung him over his shoulder fireman-
style so the little bishounen wouldn't be left to the mercy of the bishounen mob
that was quickly gaining on them. The IJBTGWACFT and Super Bishounen Society
momentarily forgot their own feud and raced after White Cross together. The tank
rumbled along slowly but surely behind them.
	"You're history no da!"
	"Quick, somebody shoot a laser beam or something!"
	"I call Yohji's hair when we scalp him!"
	"Dilandau, you can use that blowtorch now."
	"WHEEEEE!!!!"
	"Die de gozaru!"
	The four bishounen, two mobs, and one tank disappeared over a hill, and 
so left our story. Super Bishounen castle, half-crumbling, very tilted, and quite
purple, was left to blissful silence at last. A breeze ran through and dusted the
treetops. A bird chirped. Someone in the audience coughed.
	"ALL RIGHT!!" Van's voice suddenly burst forth from the vacant castle. "I got 
all oranges! All oranges! Hey guys, I got all oran-oh, wait. No." His sigh drifted out the 
window. "Damn."

	Oh, yes. You probably want to know what IJBTGWACFT stands for, don't you?
If you flip this computer screen upside and down and look at it in a mirror, the letters 
below will magically spell the answer:

IT'S JUST BECAUSE THE GIRLS WANTED A CLUB FOR TASUKI

	Oh wait. No, I did it wrong. Never mind, just read it rightside up and without the 
mirror. After seeing that trick done of the back of my Cheerios box, I thought I 
could do it. What do you expect anyway - this is a free story. You're too demanding. Quit 
complaining.


All products Copyright their respective owners. This story Copyright ( Lianne Sentar,
October 1999.